Jeffrey's "eviction" notice

I wrote this 2 days before Jeffrey's arrival. You can tell I was getting antsy!

Dear Sir,

You are hereby given notice that you are in breach of your tenancy of the premises located at mother’s womb under the terms of the lease dated June 28, 2009, between Jill Carrier as landlord and Jeffrey Carrier as tenant.

You are in breach because you are 4 days delinquent in your payment to the undersigned of the sum of 1 birth for February. In addition, you have failed to comply with the terms and conditions of your tenancy, as follows: your mother expected you to be born by now. Since your brother was 3 weeks early, she expected you to be at least 2 weeks early, but we are quickly approaching 39 weeks of pregnancy and we find your arrival is past due.

To remedy the above breach, you must do the following: aid in starting labor either by causing contractions to increase in frequency and intensity; or lend a hand and cause your mother’s water to break. Please consider this letter a final demand for you to remedy this situation.

If you fail to comply, the undersigned may commence eviction proceedings against you and/or exercise other available rights and remedies under the law. This will most likely be accomplished by a scheduled induction to occur the morning of March 1, 2010.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.



Yours sincerely,

Jill Carrier, mother